I’ve always had buckets of ambition. Years ago I used to pour that ambition into many different projects. I’d set big goals and often not accomplish them. Or worse make a commitment to myself that I was going to take action towards accomplishing an ambitious goal only to disappoint myself when I didn’t follow through. How could I want to achieve big dreams but then not actually execute when it was most needed. Integrity is very important to me. It’s one of Beta Theta Pi’s values that I’ve internalized into my own mission statement as well. Over time I started to feel any big goal or even small tasks was a risk to my personal integrity. I started shying away from commitment, not wanting to risk disappointing myself if I didn’t follow through. I’m sure you know the gut wrenching feeling that is not honoring a commitment to yourself that causes you to go into a negative spiral of numbing with (fill in the blank comforting vice here).
This recent hike to concur the Virginia Triple Crown helped me gain some perspective on the difference between attempting to accomplish something and outcomes. It’s a matter of understanding your sphere of control. I and we can control the effort and the attempt we make at accomplishing something. We often do not control the outcome. Practice self kindness when it comes to outcomes. Take responsibility for the attempt.